ATTITUDES

The  focus here is our attitude in coping with stressors. Our self talk will determine our emotional response which in turn guides our behavior.  By tuning in to our self talk, and especially some critical aspects of that self talk, we can identify what we do to actually create and intensify our own stress.

One crucial component is our approach to things we can (or cannot) control in our attempt to deal with an issue.  Every problem has multiple variables comprising it. Our natural tendency is to focus on the parts that really drive us nuts, these are usually the ones that are out of our control.  Because they are so frustrating they attract most of our attention; but by focusing on things we cannot change we begin to feel like we are completely out of control of the problem.  We begin to feel helpless, like events are driving us instead of vice versa.

The secret here is to recognize that all problems have aspects we can have impact on and aspects that we cannot affect.  Identify the parts of the problem that you can make changes in, then prioritize them in order of importance.  Develop an action plan, acting on the most important things first.  Work your way through the list, doing whatever you can that will help resolve the situation.

You will find this process makes a tremendous difference in your attitude and your productivity.  Most often our efforts will have a significant effect, cascading through the situation and resulting in far more positive change than we predicted would occur.  It is surprising how little efforts can create a ripple effect, moving events further in the desired direction than we expect.  It will also alter our attitude, creating a sense of empowerment and capability because we have a plan of attack and are focused on the positive actions we can take.  It’s only when we are obsessed by things we cannot affect that we begin to feel powerless and helpless.